Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 Review

Compared to its predominately Adam Sandler led Happy Madison brethren, the original Paul Blart: Mall Cop practically stands as a triumph. While it suffers from some of the faults of its kin (indistinct directing, a supporting cast not given proper depth, etc.), it's more jovial tone was a sharp contrast to the more mean-spirited tone of the likes of Jack & Jill and Grown Ups 2,  and it's plot (people are held hostage by bad guys in mall, Blart must stop them) had an actual cohesive structure to it.

Burnt Review

Bradley Coopers transition from character actor to leading man has been an interesting one, mainly because it's been interesting to watch how his typical personality (the assured, cocky scoundrel) is utilized in more layered motion pictures than Failure To Launch. Silver Linings Playbook brought Cooper to the field of commanding dramatic performances by making his phlegmatic personality be clashed against outbursts, with a similar sort of temperament surfacing again in 2013's American Hustle. Last years Guardians Of The Galaxy may have been the best dramatic use of Coopers disposition, with the seemingly endless bravado and snark of Rocket Raccoon hiding the characters relentless existential crisis.

For Their Sake, Movie Studios Need To Start Releasing Their Dramas Outside Of October

It's no shocker why movie studios love the month of October as the opportune time to release their major dramatic motion pictures. Tons of films of that very nature have done gangbusters business in this time period (just in the last few years, Gone Girl, The Social Network and Argo excelled here), and these dramas can play as more low-key counterprogramming towards the larger scale releases in November. Plus, it ensures that a number of these films will, in theory, be easier for Oscar voters to remember when it comes time for those voters to figure out who should be nominated for Best Picture. But as this October has shown, unleashing an onslaught of dramas on the marketplace just leads to everyone underperforming.

Saw Review (Classic Write-Up)

For a good chunk of the first decade of the 21st century, Saw had a firm grip on the realm of horror in pop culture. It's immense success spawned a number of imitators in the "torture horror" niche, namely the Hostel and Collector franchises. Such a subgenre faded almost as soon as it arrived, with the far cheaper to execute (no pun intended) found footage and supernatural horror fare managing to be the scary king of the multiplex in the years since the franchise concluded. And despite how prominent the franchise was for six years, there's been surprisingly little clamor for it to be rebooted or return to theaters, with the only attempt to wring more cash out of the franchise in recent years, a 10th Anniversary theatrical re-release of this first Saw film, bombing spectacularly last year.

Jem And The Holograms Review

Man, has it been a good month for movies or what? Sicario, Steve Jobs, 99 Homes, Bridge Of Spies, just a top-notch line-up on modern day cinema. And then there's Jem And The Holograms. Going from those aforementioned high quality to the level of quality on full display in Jon M. Chu's latest movie is akin to enjoying a gourmet meal and then having someone violently shove 52 tons of expired Taco Bueno menu items down your throat. No, this movie is not good, in case that subtle metaphor didn't tip you off.

Adam Sandlers First Netflix Movie, The Ridiculous Six, Gets Its First Trailer

Netflix officially got into the motion picture business two Fridays back with Beasts Of No Nation, a critically praised feature which has been apparently viewed over 3 million times in North America alone. Their next foray into the world of cinema will be the start of their four movie deal with Adam Sandler, and the majority of the press over the first film, The Ridiculous Six, has been the abhorrent racism occurring towards Apache culture in the film causing several Native American actors and a cultural adviser to leave the project. Netflix is obviously hoping the conversation can now shift over to the movie itself with the release of the first trailer for The Ridiculous Six, which you can watch below.

Supergirl Series Premiere Review

SPOILERS AHOY!

After launching Green Arrow and The Flash to their own individual TV shows, Greg Berlanti and Andrew Kreisberg have shifted their attention to getting a third DC Comics mainstay her own television program; Supergirl. While she's been a mainstay in a number of animated TV shows for years now, her live-action appearances have been limited to a recurring role on Smallville, her own 1984 solo feature film featuring Faye Dunaway and Peter O'Toole and a brief cameo in a segment in Movie 43 where she was played by Kristen Bell. Thanks to the massive marketing campaign they've given the show, it's fairly obvious that CBS hopes this new show will take her to the next level of pop culture recognition.

Steve Jobs Review

Now that I'm juuust old enough to put my younger years into a larger context, it strikes me that 2010 may have been one of the most formative cinematic years of my entire life. That specific period of 365 days brought out a number of important films that shaped me, including Toy Story 3, The Other Guys and the first Coen Brothers, Christopher Nolan and Edgar Wright films I saw on the big screen (hell, I could ramble on for hours on the personal importance of just Scott Pilgrim vs. The World!). Another film from that year that has cemented itself in my subconscious? The Social Network.

Crimson Peak Review

God bless Guillermo Del Toro. He's such a fascinating filmmaker, so obviously in love with the worlds he creates, it's endlessly charming. Also fun to see is how much variety there is in his filmography in terms of what genres he'll explore. Fantasy for Pan's Labyrinth, sci-fi for Pacific Rim, and now dramatic supernatural romantic period piece horror in Crimson Peak. That description may make the project sound like a hodgepodge of a creation, but don't fret, it's instead a delightful mixture that utilizes each of its distinct individual elements to their fullest potential.

A Truly Outrageously Bad Weekend Sees Several New Releases, Including Steve Jobs, Out-And-Out Bombing

Holy hell, what happened? No, really, what went haywire here? None of the movies opening in wide release this weekend were expected to hit the box office heights of 2015 hits like Avengers: Age of Ultron or Jurassic World, but good Lord, only one of the five newbies could even (barely) hit $10 million for the weekend. It was a pathetic weekend overall, but we got a lot of movies to go get through, so let's get on with it, shall we?

Slither Review (Classic Write-Up)

The single most important question you must ask yourself prior to watching Slither is the age old inquiry "Do I want to watch an extremely gory movie where extraterrestrial mind-controlling slugs lay waste to a small Southern town?" If so, well, Slither should more than satisfy, as it excels as not only living up to all the gross-out potential premise, but also in having some well-written characters and examples of strong acting from the likes of Nathan Fillion and Elizabeth Banks.

"Guess The Wolf's Out Of The Bag": Journey Into Twilight: Part Two

"Now what?" must have been a phrase on the minds of everyone involved in the first Twilight movie, as its far larger than expected box office proved that there was a massive audience for this property more than willing to shell out cash to watch an immortal murderer make goo-goo eyes at a woman nine decades younger than him. Well, there were four of these Twilight books, I guess it's time to get a move on getting those follow-ups made as films.

Learn What's Inside The Head Of Jessica Jones With This New Trailer

After more than a month of teasers (really well-crafted ones at that, so simple but so effective at conveying a unique tone and being memorable), a full trailer for Jessica Jones, the newest TV show from Marvel/Netflix, has been released. Check it out below!

This Deleted Scene From Jurassic World Is One Big Pile Of....Well, Y'Know

Last night, a deleted scene from Jurassic World began to take the internet by storm, and it's not hard to see why. This wasn't just a bunch of sites dedicated to cinema using the title of the biggest movie of 2015 to generate more pageviews, this was a scene omitted from the final cut from Jurassic World so utterly bizarre I can't imagine what compelled the four screenwriters attached to the movie (among them the features director Collin Trevorrow) to ever think it belonged in this thing.

The scene in question has been taken off of YouTube, but basically, it depicts Claire (Bryce Dallas Howard) and Owen (Chris Pratt) after they've set off to find Claire's nephews who are lost in the park. In order to avoid detection by the various dinos (some of which like to munch on humans), Owen suggests that he and Claire smear dinosaur feces on their bodies. While Owen simply gets some of the stuff on his arms, Claire covers her legs and chest in droppings. Her applying the stuff to her body is depicted in the same fashion lotion commercials depict women rubbing lotion on their various body parts i.e. in a manner that's meant to be alluring.

Continuing the tradition of the Jurassic Park films having at least one scene dedicated to dinosaur droppings (only The Lost World: Jurassic Park bucked this trend, though the rest of the movie was crappy enough to make up for that omission), this scene seems like one that would have sent the movies intense tone careening off into oblivion as well as continuing the entire features troubling gender politics. Claire can't just rub the crap (literally!) onto her arms like Owen, she has to do it in a weirdly seductive manner. It also appears like this scene attempts to establish the first time where Owen begins to rekindle his romantic feelings for Claire, and I'm not quite sure if this is worse than the way the final cut of Jurassic World handled the duos relationship, which culminated in a Man Of Steel-esque kiss while innocent civilians are being plucked by pterodactyls.

Pirates Of The Caribbean: On Stranger Tides Review (Classic Write-Up)

No one involved with Pirates Of The Caribbean: On Stranger Tides gave two shits about it. Normally, I'd refrain from engaging in the fallacy known as hasty generalization, but here, it's impossible to escape the deafening lack of vigor on display in everything from the acting, plot, action sequences, hell, even Johnny Depp as Jack Sparrow (so entertaining even in the weakest parts of Dead Man's Chest) feels more often than not tired in this particular adventure, which is not the sort of impression you want your zany and unpredictable leading man to convey.

Bridge Of Spies Review

It's interesting to compare this summer's biggest film Jurassic World to its predecessor Jurassic Park, especially since it reveals the finer intricacies that make that 1993 motion picture such an involving feature. Not only does Steven Spielberg have a better eye for spectacle than Collin Trevorrow and his blue-soaked visuals (the T-Rex's entrance alone is a master course in pacing), but there's a brain on that movies shoulders, a cerebral streak that makes the world that characters like Alan Grant and Ellie Satler inhabit all the more enriching. Hell, that scene where John Hammond waxes poetic to Satler on why he wanted to make Jurassic Park in the first place over a dish of ice cream is one of the best moments in the entire film.

Final Star Wars: The Force Awakens Trailer Is Here!

And lo and behold, the final trailer for Star Wars: The Force Awakens is here.

I imagine J.J. Abrams just hovering over the trailer editor, rubbing his little hands together and cackling "LESS FOOTAGE!! LESS FOOTAGE!! THE MYSTERY BOX MUST BE PRESERVED!" And, truth be told, that feels like a mighty fine approach for this movies marketing. It feels awesome that in two months one of the biggest movies of all-time launches, and yet, 59 days from its release, we know zilch about it in terms of the features overall plot.

But what we do know is that this thing has some beautiful sets and shots, holy hell. This looks like a magnificently crafted film when it comes to its numerous technical aspects (costumes, sets, etc.), with that opening shot of Rey (Daisy Ridley) waltzing around an abandoned spaceship alone giving me shivers. And oh my God, Harrison Ford looks awesome as Han Solo. Is he...is he actually emoting? Good for him! Plus, Oscar Isaac looks to be in trouble, poor Finn (John Boyega) is trying to hold his own in a lightsaber fight against Kylo Ren (Adam Driver) and our first look at Leia (Carrie Fisher)!

I don't think there really needed to be any marketing to get everyone to go see a new Star Wars movie, but goddamn if this new trailer and its marketing forefathers haven't done the trick.

"You Better Hold On Tight Spider-Monkey": Journey Into Twilight: Part One

In the four years it existed as a film franchise, The Twilight Saga garnered a tidal wave of hatred, the kind reserved for the level of subpar cinema occupied by the likes of Disaster Movie and God's Not Dead. Rare was the joke in this era that didn't use the tale of Bella and Edward as a punchline, but was such a response solely due to them being bad movies? After all, bad blockbusters like Transformers are reviled, but they don't receive the sort of drubbing down that Twilight got, to the point where anyone who enjoyed the films was labeled as nothing short of a dimwit or a heathen.

Goosebumps Sends Shivers Across The Box Office. Also; Crimson Peak? More Like Crimson Meek (Box Office)

Goosebumps was numero uno at the box office this weekend, grossing a decent $23.5 million in its opening weekend. That's a solid number for the book adaptation, though putting it below the opening weekends of other movies of its ilk (Ender's Game opened to $27 million for instance and this opening was about on the same level as the $23.2 million debut of Eragon from ten years ago). This one should perform well over the next two weeks considering how well timed it is to Halloween, though The Peanuts Movie will likely demolish it in its fourth weekend.

Of Nerds, Women, Prizes And Lazy Storytelling Tropes (Or: The Unexpected Vices Of Ignorant Screenwriting)

SPOILERS FOR GOOSEBUMPS AND PIXELS FOLLOW

Towards the end of the motion picture Goosebumps, my least favorite character in the entire motion picture, Champ (Ryan Lee), gets around five minutes of screentime entirely devoted to him taking down The Werewolf Of Fever Swamp via fatally biting the beast with the help of his silver fillings. Why is a character depicted in the film as a walking/talking embodiment of the conventional nerd suddenly showing such bravado in combat? It's simple really; The Werewolf Of Fever Swamp is attacking Taylor (Halston Sage), a popular girl at the school who gets two lines of dialogue and no distinct personality to speak of before she makes out with Champ.