Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom Is The Cinematic Equivalent To Kid Rock's All Summer Long

I sure do hope anyone who goes to see Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom is familiar with every little detail of the original Jurassic Park film because this movie is obsessed to a creepy degree with homaging that particular entry in the franchise. All kinds of nostalgic fan-service moments crop up throughout the story, ranging from an appearance by the cane topped by an ambered mosquito that John Hammond once carried around to an appearance by the flipped over Jurassic Park van that fell into the T-Rex paddock to a comically extraneous cameo appearance by Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jeff Goldblum). Colin Trevorrow and Derek Connolly pack their dismal script with all kinds of references to the original, a task they become so preoccupied with that they forget to make all that much that is unique or interesting for this brand new Jurassic Park adventure.

Oh Hey, J.J Abrams Is Now The Director Of Star Wars: Episode IX

Hey, remember when I used to do news pieces on a regular basis on this website? Ah, 2014 memories....

So, real quickly, it appears J.J. Abrams is in the bag to direct Star Wars: Episode IX, stepping in for Collin Trevorrow who departed the project last week over "Creative differences". The predominant rumor had been that Rian Johnson may stick around after The Last Jedi to help wrap up this trilogy, but nope, looks like J.J. Abrams is coming back to the fold. As a major fan of J.J. Abrams as a director (Super 8 is one of my favorite movies of 2011), I'm OK with this news but also kinda wishing we could have gotten someone a bit more bold and unexpected to help this forthcoming Star Wars movie.

The Book Of Henry Has Lots Of Strange Plot Turns But What's The Point Of It All?

SPOILERS FOR THE BOOK OF HENRY WITHIN

While the film geek community was aware that director Collin Trevorrow had a movie called The Book of Henry on the docket for release in 2017, the feature didn't gain all that much in the way of attention until it's bonkers first trailer was released, revealing the movies bonkers-looking plotline and immediately rocketing itself onto many people's radars. I'll freely admit to being one such person whose interest got piqued by the absolutely tonally all-over-the-map trailer which combined super-inventive kid movie tropes with Naomi Watts as a sniper action. The biggest question remaining for me and many others after watching that trailer was whether or not the actual movie itself would be this crazy....

This Deleted Scene From Jurassic World Is One Big Pile Of....Well, Y'Know

Last night, a deleted scene from Jurassic World began to take the internet by storm, and it's not hard to see why. This wasn't just a bunch of sites dedicated to cinema using the title of the biggest movie of 2015 to generate more pageviews, this was a scene omitted from the final cut from Jurassic World so utterly bizarre I can't imagine what compelled the four screenwriters attached to the movie (among them the features director Collin Trevorrow) to ever think it belonged in this thing.

The scene in question has been taken off of YouTube, but basically, it depicts Claire (Bryce Dallas Howard) and Owen (Chris Pratt) after they've set off to find Claire's nephews who are lost in the park. In order to avoid detection by the various dinos (some of which like to munch on humans), Owen suggests that he and Claire smear dinosaur feces on their bodies. While Owen simply gets some of the stuff on his arms, Claire covers her legs and chest in droppings. Her applying the stuff to her body is depicted in the same fashion lotion commercials depict women rubbing lotion on their various body parts i.e. in a manner that's meant to be alluring.

Continuing the tradition of the Jurassic Park films having at least one scene dedicated to dinosaur droppings (only The Lost World: Jurassic Park bucked this trend, though the rest of the movie was crappy enough to make up for that omission), this scene seems like one that would have sent the movies intense tone careening off into oblivion as well as continuing the entire features troubling gender politics. Claire can't just rub the crap (literally!) onto her arms like Owen, she has to do it in a weirdly seductive manner. It also appears like this scene attempts to establish the first time where Owen begins to rekindle his romantic feelings for Claire, and I'm not quite sure if this is worse than the way the final cut of Jurassic World handled the duos relationship, which culminated in a Man Of Steel-esque kiss while innocent civilians are being plucked by pterodactyls.

Bridge Of Spies Review

It's interesting to compare this summer's biggest film Jurassic World to its predecessor Jurassic Park, especially since it reveals the finer intricacies that make that 1993 motion picture such an involving feature. Not only does Steven Spielberg have a better eye for spectacle than Collin Trevorrow and his blue-soaked visuals (the T-Rex's entrance alone is a master course in pacing), but there's a brain on that movies shoulders, a cerebral streak that makes the world that characters like Alan Grant and Ellie Satler inhabit all the more enriching. Hell, that scene where John Hammond waxes poetic to Satler on why he wanted to make Jurassic Park in the first place over a dish of ice cream is one of the best moments in the entire film.