Tuesday, November 17, 2015

The Trailer For The Uber White Movie Gods Of Egypt Is The Best Unintentional Parody Trailer Ever

If RedLetterMedia, FunnyorDie or someone along those lines were responsible for this trailer for Gods of Egypt, I might declare it awesome, as those entities would obviously had created this trailer as a parody of the kind of whitewashed blockbusters chock full of too much CGI that clog up movie theater screens each year. But no folks, this is real. Summit Entertainment/Lionsgate will release this on February 26, and I'll be shocked if its Rotten Tomatoes score exceeds 20% and its domestic box office cume is over $30 million. Check out this gloriously bad trailer below.


Can you get more generic than this? No really, can you? So much poor CGI, with some scenes of Gerard Butler in front of an obvious green screen looking so fake they almost make me think the production borrowed some of the 3D environments from the first Spyro The Dragon game for the movie. They didn't of course, because there was far more detail in those Spyro backgrounds than in the environments seen in the trailer. Oh, and look at that! White people, as far as the eye can see! Looks like the movie has no problem employing actors of color when it comes time to hire extras for crowd or slave scenes, but when its time for the lead character, you couldn't hire someone like Elijah Kelly, no no, he'd bring too much charisma to this dreck!

As if that all weren't bad enough, this trailer also contains some major plot spoilers (thanks for showing that that dude  from Game Of Thrones gets his eyes back!) and the only line of dialogue attributed to a woman has her encouraging our male lead to go save the world. Lovely, just lovely. The only positive I see here is Gerard Butley playing against type as a bad guy, and maybe if he hams it up he could be entertaining, I freely admit. Honestly though, this all looks like a clusterstorm of bad, and if the movie is even half as entertainingly bad as this dreadfully generic trailer, we could be in for a disaster of Pixels proportions. Sorry Chadwick Boseman and Geoffrey Rush (the latter actor is playing Ra....WHO IS DARK SKINNED IN EVERY OTHER VISUAL INTERPRETATION IN HISTORY GODDAMNIT), this doesn't look like it'll be the best thing on your resumes.

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