Hyperspace Hoopla Could Save Star Wars

I've begun to think that nostalgia is a coping mechanism. Existence is pain. Being alive is often just endless anguish, as concerns over how to pay rent, mental health issues, and other problems dominate our brains. Rarely is there a passage in life devoid of turmoil. Childhood angst eventually gives way to adulthood ennui. However, we can control the past in our brains. We can zero in on a song, a movie, a TV Show, anything that brought us happy feelings and declare it emblematic of "happier" bygone days. When you're existing in the tumultuous present, it's impossible to contort it into something inherently happy. 

Memories, though, can be shaped and altered. We can convince ourselves that 80s music, for instance, was the "greatest" and emblematic of that era being superior. The past is so overwhelming and scary that clinging to nostalgia is often a way of making it bearable. 

The psychology behind this is understandable even if the byproducts of that process are immensely toxic. The 80s, for instance, may have delivered a few songs you connect to fond High School memories. It was also an era housing the AIDS genocide of queer people or President Ronald Reagan normalizing anti-Black rhetoric. We have to confront the messy pain of existence, the small joys that make the present worth living, and the bursts of happiness driving a desire to create a better tomorrow. Becoming calcified in a funhouse mirror vision of yesterday won't make the present and future better. 

This is all a very heavy way of saying: I swear to God, any positive feelings I express here towards Hyperspace Hoopla are not just because "it existed in 2013, therefore it's better than 2026 art." Just like Yoda actually being a wise and powerful Jedi when Luke encounters the "kooky" hermit on Dagobah, there's more going on here than just pining for abandoned Disney World attractions.

What The Kriff is Hyperspace Hoopla?

Hyperspace Hoopla was established in 2008 as part of Star Wars Weekends, an annual event that Disney's Hollywood Studios hosted in Florida's Walt Disney World theme park. This weekend, special walkaround characters, guests, parades, and other events would take place, all themed to that galaxy far, far away. It took over a decade of Star Wars Weekends before Hyperspace Hoopla was created. However, these performances are now some of the most enduringly memorable of this defunct Disney World staple.

Hyperspace Hoopla was a song and dance show typically involving hosts Snig and Oopla guiding audiences through a barrage of familiar Star Wars characters dancing to peppy pop tunes. The 2011 version of Hyperspace Hoopla, for instance, saw Emperor Palpatine showing up to explain that, for Dark Side users, the word "yo" "gives us street cred", Darth Maul dancing to AC/DC's "Back in Black," Jango and Boba Fett sharing the stage together, an Ewok rocking Slash's hair, Darth Vader getting funky to Metallica' "Enter Sandman," and even Oopla quoting Palpatine's "you smell like feet wrapped in burn leathery bacon" quip from Robot Chicken. It's a cross between a fever dream, a Ready Player One-style menagerie of pop culture references, and somewhat par for the course for theme park entertainment.

The entire Hyperspace Hoopla conceit was centered around the "novelty" of watching Star Wars characters singing and dancing along to familiar pop tunes. Once Disney bought Star Wars and planned to make the property inescapable at its theme parks (why confine it just to one weekend?), Star Wars Weekends were dead in the water. Hyperspace Hoopla, which did its final show in 2013 (just months after Disney bought Lucasfilm), was no longer a priority for the Mouse House. Lucasfilm's new owners were emphasizing "brand integrity" above all else. It was time to take Star Wars seriously again, a proposition that also ensured the death of Seth Green's Star Wars: Detours show. In trying to re-establish this universe as one a new generation of kids could get invested in, sillier takes on Star Wars in Detours and Hyperspace Hoopla were jettisoned. Considering Star Wars was synonymous with endless mocking "I don't like sand" memes in the early 2000s, that might not have been the worst idea in the world.

Cut to 2026, though, and everyone takes Star Wars too damn seriously. Disney and Lucasfilm treat the live-action reappearances of random side characters from The Clone Wars as reverently as possible. There's a constant emphasis on "we're doing this for the fans" or slow-motion behind-the-scenes footage set to actors wistfully talking about how much Rotta the Hutt means to them. Meanwhile, Star Wars fandom has somehow gotten even more toxic. Many corners of this fandom have ended up embodying the worst possible versions of nostalgia as they cling to a perception that Disney warped a franchise full of toyetic characters into something "impure." Trying anything new in Star Wars will immediately incur the internet's ire.

Disney no longer has a problem with people not viewing Star Wars seriously. They have the opposite problem: it's all too buttoned-up and glum. Trying anything new is sacrilegious. Meanwhile, characters who originated in Cartoon Network/Disney XD programming are now treated with off-putting veneration. No wonder younger people would rather jump into the more appealing, colorful worlds of various anime programs like One Piece.

Hyperspace Hoopla Could Bring Swinging Fun To All Star Wars Era

Maybe the answer to countering that perception lies in Hyperspace Hoopla. A little over a decade since The Force Awakens debuted, Disney can finally let its hair down when it comes to Star Wars. It's time for something ridiculous that reminds people Star Wars is a franchise aimed at children, that's housed Bea Arthur singing to Mos Eisley Cantina patrons or Wilford Brimley chatting with Ewoks. Not everything has to be all serious all the time. Letting the Star Wars characters dance to Britney Spears, Kendrick Lamar, or Charli XCX could be an over-the-top reminder of that reality. 

Plus, in the 12 years since Hyperspace Hoopla went off to that great Bantha field in the sky, the Star Wars saga has introduced a few new characters these shows could utilize. In her excellent video breaking down the faults of the Forces of Destiny toyline/short films, Jenny Nicholson lamented that, in the interest of maintaining "contuinity," none of the women highlighted in these dolls/shorts could interact. Jyn Erso and Ahsoka Tano, for example, could never rub shoulders with Leia. That problem wouldn't be an issue with Hyperspace Hoopla, which has to throw continuity to the wind so that Jango Fett can shake ass to "WAP".

It could be fun to see all kinds of new Disney-era Star Wars characters, and old favorites, rub shoulders and do something silly together. The Acolyte's Osha and Mae could have a fun dance number with Rey and Fennec Shand to 100 gecs "Dumbest Girl Alive." Perhaps it's time for Darth Maul, Orson Krennic, and Syril Karn to engage in some homoerotic dancing to Lil Nax X's "Industry Baby." Anyone got any great tunes that could unite Wat Tambor, Max Rebo, and Constable Zuvio?  Porgs! My beloved Porgs also must be there! The possibilities are endless. Emphasizing all these characters wouldn't just be fun in making sure the new Hyperspace Hoopla offered sights beyond what its original incarnation delivered.

This could also help unite Star Wars fans, as fans of all corners of the franchise (from the Prequel Trilogy to the Filoni-era shows to the Sequel Trilogy) gather to see their favorite characters engage in outsized song-and-dance routines. Communal art experiences are vital for bringing people from all walks of life together. So much Star Wars media (like The Rise of Skywalker) seems poised to cater towards just toxic corners of this fandom through the isolating realm of streaming television. Hyperspace Hoopla bringing a wide range of Star Wars fans together and homaging all eras of the franchise, though, could be a balm for that problem. "This will begin to make things right," to quote the opening line of The Force Awakens.

Granted, there could be some major problems ingrained into reviving Hyperspace Hoopla. For one thing, 2020s pop music has some deeply terrible artists that I don't want to see come anywhere near Star Wars. Please, do load up the Megan Thee Stallion, Cardi B, Sabrina Carpenter, SZA, Haim, Chappell Roan, Ethel Caine, Bad Bunny, and various K-Pop legends in terms of modern chart-toppers. However, just because they're popular on the Billboard charts or TikTok trends doesn't grant them automatic access to Hyperspace Hoopla. Morgan Wallen, Tate McRae, Benson Boone, Drake, Ella Langley, Jelly Roll, get that shit out of here. This is a stupid show at Disney World, but it shouldn't be a platform for toxic personalities. 

Hyperspace Hoopla also shouldn't just be a place to shill for or promote new Disney+ Star Wars materials. This should be a place where the Unidentified Hologram Circus from the Star Wars Holiday Special and Bix from Andor live in harmony. This should be a grab-bag of characters from all eras of Star Wars combine to give people song-and-dance routines nobody asked for (complimentary). It shouldn't be just a place where Mando waxes poetic on how cool the new heroes of Ahsoka season two are. Yes, this is a Disney theme park show, meaning promotional impulses are ingrained into the production's Midichlorians, er, bloodstream. However, that doesn't mean a new Hyperspace Hoopla incarnation couldn't at least try to avoid such impulses.

Against All Odds, Hyperspace Hoopla Could Be...A New Hope

I never saw Hyperspace Hoopla in person. My only exposure to it is through videos of these performances that people have uploaded to YouTube. These time capsules provide a striking reminder of how much cynicism and corporate exploitation has permeated the Star Wars brand since the very Luke Skywalker Kenner toy hit store shelves. Obvious problems abound in any one of these performances, right down to the really grating jokes to the obvious song choices. To be quite honest, the show's treatment of women characters is also...not great. Leia dances around in her slave bikini outfit (a garb she was forced to wear at the hands of a slimy sexual predator) while Padme's de facto outfit is her mid-riff-baring Attack of the Clones Geonosis colosseum attire. Skimpiness does not equal "not feminist" or "bad women representation," obviously. 

Those costumes being the only real options for lady Star Wars characters in this show, while also having them dance to Outkast singing "Shake it! Shake it!" in "Hey Ya" just comes off as weird. Not to mention unimaginative! Why can't these gals from a galaxy far, far away do something more? The default role for women in dance numbers is to be subservient to men and blow kisses at male performers. Let's get some more specific choreography out here and distinctive tunes for Leia and Ahsoka Tano to dance to.

Still, even with all these faults bouncing around the proceedings, Hyperspace Hoopla "makes no damn sense...compels me, though", to quote a wise Benoit Blanc. Maybe it's the inherent surrealness of seeing C-3PO lead a "Harlem Shake" performance. Perhaps it's just the absence of similarly goofy Star Wars material at the theme parks or wider Disney machine. A part of this Hyperspace Hoopla affection must stem from nostalgia, always forcing us to look through the past with rose-colored glasses. Yesteryear's torment will suffocate us if we don't make it bearable. 

Above all else, deploying Star Wars characters for pop music cringiness and displays of talented live dancing sure seems like a welcome respite to this franchise's current state. Rigid homages to Filoni-spearheaded cartoons? Get that out of here. Let's get back to having fun with these characters, especially with the vast expansion of canonical characters the Disney Star Wars era has delivered. A new and improved version of Hyperspace Hoopla that takes more risks on music choices (bring on the 100 gecs and Death Grips!) and demonstrates more imagination with how women are portrayed could be a riot. 

In its ideal form, Hyperspace Hoopla could remind Star Wars geeks everywhere that this saga is supposed to be fun. This is all silly nonsense. "The brand integrity days are over," as Florence+The Machine might say. Now it's time for the days of Sebulba and General Grievous twerking to "Thot Shit." Having such hopes for a revamped vision of Hyperspace Hoopla isn't about clinging to the past. It's about improving on the past and creating something new that maybe help Star Wars stave off some of its current woes.